24th June 1991, the best date in my life. I was offered to do a Civil Engineering course at University Malaya. So off I went back to UM to continue with my degree. The orientation week was as usual, very tiring. The funny part was one of the senior who oriented us got so emotional that she actually cried during one of the lectures of the dos and don'ts. We end up staring at each other, wondering what was that all about!
My mind was far from there though...I kept on thinking about this guy I dated during the previous semester break. I just couldn't get him off my mind. We kept in touch thru letters and cards and my heart was yearning to go back to Kuching to be with him. I call him using the pay phone and even learned from classmate on how to use the pay phone for hours for just twenty cents. I tried to be strong and was able to concentrate on my studies until the next semester break. I couldn't wait to go home and came March 1992 I get to go home and be with him again. I practically went out with him almost every nite (he works daytime) during that semester break in 1992. We went to see the Kumang Gawai at my village, May that year and spent the nite at a house that belongs to the friend who introduces us in the first place. I had a great time. Every minute spent with him was so valuable and precious.
By end of June 1992 I had to return to KL to continue with the 2nd year of my degree. Life sucks as I had to be away from him again. I didn't get to stay in college that semester because I wasn't active in any of the co-curiculum and sports activity in college during my first year. So I had to look for low cost apartment for rent. Luckily, a few Sarawakian girls are also in the same boat so we end up staying at Pantai Dalam area that year. Life outside the campus was hectic because we had to use the bus or private van to commute to the campus. The bus or private van was forever full of passengers, so we had to shove our way in or we'll be late for class.
We had issues with some of the families staying at the apartment because they think that the students are inviting the guys into their rented apartment. One of my housemate, who seems to be stuck to her boyfriend day and nite made the accusation worst as she tends to sneak him in to our apartment in the middle of the nite. One nite the whole situation got out of hand when she brought him into the apartment, when some of us was sleeping in the living room without our bra onn. A friend of my mine, on seeing the boyfriend sitting in the living room, got so mad that ugly words were exchange and the whole situation really got out of hand when the rest of our housemate came out of their rooms and started taking sides. The whole ugly girl fights happened at the early hours of 2:00am. Our shouting voices could be heard by the other tenants a few blocks away. Imagine that!! Next morning Team A and Team B was borned. So Team A was not talking to Team B and the worst part was that we still have several more months before our semester break the following year and no one was willing to give up that apartment.
We had one month break in November that year so I was happy to be going home to see my beau..As usual I went out with him almost every nite. This time we had sex which was a huge mistake for me then. We thought that we would be carefull and I wouldn't get pregnant. Well I guess God has a way of telling us not to play GOD! I went back to campus not knowing I was pregnant until towards the end of January 1993. By then I was about 2 months into my prenancy. I was small built, thin and that no one notice the changes in my body including myself. My period was regular so I didn't think that there was a problem. Infact I was doing a lot of exercise during that time and looking back I'm surprised that I did not miscarriaged.
One day I noticed that my stomach was kind of bulging and suddenly the worst fear swept thru me..I quickly got dress and went to the nearest shopping complex looking for a pharmacy. That was the first time I had to buy a pregnancy test kit. I ran to the nearest toilet and use the kit. To my horror, the change in colour confirmed that I was pregnant! I started crying in the toilet and at that point I was cursing myself for being so careless!
That evening I told my roomate that I'm going back to Kuching. I needed to settle on some urgent matter. I took the bus to the airport and got into the next flight back to kuching that nite. Lucky it was our study week before the final exam so we don't have to attend class. My beau was waiting for me at the airport as I had called him earlier to meet me there. None of my family member knew that I was back in kuching that time. We stayed at his relatives house and tried to figure out what to do. At that point we were far from GOD but He was there for us all the time, we just didn't realise it. I was so distraught and worry about my future that the stupidiest thing we did was went to a doctor for an abortion. The doctor told us flatly that he could not do it because I was way into the pregnancy. Not satisfied with his answer we went to see another lady doctor. I told her my situation and she said she wanted to do a scanning first. What she said to me during the scanning made me realised that we both just have to face the situation rather than running away from it. She told us we had twins but did not tell us the gender of the babies. So out of the clinic we both sat quietly on the staircase next to the clinic wondering what to do next. That was the point where we decided to face it so the next thing we did was went to see my sister and her family. Imagine the horror on my sister face when she found out about the pregnancy. We were lucky my brother in law wasn't home at that time or we both would have expected his wrath. Next day we decided to see my mom at the village. She was surprised to see me and I told her the truth. She wasn't happy about it but I told her that I will take care of everything.
Next two days we figure out that we just have to get married when I'm back for the semester break in two months time and raised these babies together. I had to go back to KL and the campus to sit for my 2nd year final exam. When I arrived at the apartment, my housemate was wondering where I've been...so I cooked up a story that I got married in Kuching.
I wasn't able to concentrate in my exam and I knew that I just had to repeat the whole 2nd year again. I couldn't wait to go home to Kuching once the exam was over. By 17th March 1993 I was married to my beau. I was so happy although I was uncertain what the future hold for us. I was told by the doctors that I'm suppose to deliver by end of July 1993 but none of them had told me that twins normally arrive earlier. So by 23rd June 1993, the twins decided to come out to the world. I experienced the labor pain at around 7:00am and by 1:30pm the eldest girl was borned and followed by her sister seven minutes later. I had twin girls and we name them Olivia (the eldest) and Amanda (the youngest).
One month later I had to leave my babies and back to my studies in UM. I applied to stay at Tunku Ampuan Kushiah, a private hostel just outside UM main gate. I had to repeat my second year as I had failed most of the subjects. I had no regrets, I made a mistake but I vowed to make the best of my life and the life's of my family from that point forward. We are just human and vulnerable, but we can make a difference when we learn from our mistake and make ourselves a better person.
For the next three years I struggle in my studies and with a family back in Kuching it wasn't easy. I cried a lot but at the same time I left a lot to JESUS, to guide me thru the hard times. It was so comforting when you have JESUS by your side.
Throughout the remanding time I spent in UM, I encounter a lot of human negativity. I was asked once by a hostel mate, why I was determine to leave my kids in Kuching and pursued my studies. I answered her on the positive but later in my room I cried and cried. It was never easy for me to leave my kids back in Kuching but I know I had to sacrifice our being together to make a better life's for ourselves. My mom was constantly ask by the local villagers why I married a "loser" their term for my husband who wasn't a graduate like me. Everytime I'm back at home for the holidays, my mum would constantly nag on why I let it happen, on why I had twins and not just one baby because she find it difficult to look after two babies at once. Can you imagine I had to listen to all these negative words from all corners of my life. Like I said it wasn't easy for me, it was so hard, very very hard for me to take in as I had to cope with my studies as well as being a mother to twins infant.
I went through the rest of the semester just like any other students. I'm glad I had great classmates..they were very supportive and a friend actually help me to get a place in one of the in campus hostel in my final year. So I studied hard and smart and graduated in 1996....the beginning of my career life.
One month later I had to leave my babies and back to my studies in UM. I applied to stay at Tunku Ampuan Kushiah, a private hostel just outside UM main gate. I had to repeat my second year as I had failed most of the subjects. I had no regrets, I made a mistake but I vowed to make the best of my life and the life's of my family from that point forward. We are just human and vulnerable, but we can make a difference when we learn from our mistake and make ourselves a better person.
For the next three years I struggle in my studies and with a family back in Kuching it wasn't easy. I cried a lot but at the same time I left a lot to JESUS, to guide me thru the hard times. It was so comforting when you have JESUS by your side.
Throughout the remanding time I spent in UM, I encounter a lot of human negativity. I was asked once by a hostel mate, why I was determine to leave my kids in Kuching and pursued my studies. I answered her on the positive but later in my room I cried and cried. It was never easy for me to leave my kids back in Kuching but I know I had to sacrifice our being together to make a better life's for ourselves. My mom was constantly ask by the local villagers why I married a "loser" their term for my husband who wasn't a graduate like me. Everytime I'm back at home for the holidays, my mum would constantly nag on why I let it happen, on why I had twins and not just one baby because she find it difficult to look after two babies at once. Can you imagine I had to listen to all these negative words from all corners of my life. Like I said it wasn't easy for me, it was so hard, very very hard for me to take in as I had to cope with my studies as well as being a mother to twins infant.
I went through the rest of the semester just like any other students. I'm glad I had great classmates..they were very supportive and a friend actually help me to get a place in one of the in campus hostel in my final year. So I studied hard and smart and graduated in 1996....the beginning of my career life.
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